SELFIE OF A MAN

I’ve finally realized what a selfie is about.

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It’s 3:00 am. I took another selfie. It’s addicting. I’m determined to see how much my beard has grown since I took a selfie of it at 1:00 am yesterday.

All together my flip phone has 33 selfies of my beard! All except two, are just minute variations of right side, left side and dead center. With my eyes closed.

At 3:00 am ‘Mate, the flash is terribly blinding! Keep your eyes closed.

The other two selfies are of me smiling, like “Hello”. My eyes are open on those. I don’t go around saying Hello with my eyes closed!

I am methodical about how I take my selfie at any hour after midnight, because, I won’t mince words Mum, I look pretty scary. I have “bad hair days” every night between midnight and sunrise.

So why am I taking selfies of myself in the wee hour of morning?

Shouldn’t I take my selfie when I am very awake, very refreshed, very Kardashian?

That would make sense, but a little self-discovery of taking a selfie of my beard turned into an unexpected OMG moment! A moment of self-discovery!

You see apparently, and in early morning hours, bags appear around your eyes and your face sags! They don’t ring door bells, they don’t knock on the door, they just appear unannounced when the light goes on!

I am not sure if it’s a male age thing or something to do with hormones or no hormones as we get older but male chest muscles sags into male breasts.

Now, if you’re young, Nooooo Problem! But if you’re older, YIKES! How did that happen!

Worse my face is the surface of the moon and sliding down in ways I never saw it before!

Holy Cow!! How did that happen!!

I am aging! Uncontrollably badly! Unwillingly badly! Just badly!

Get my composure dear Man.

Houston (NASA): “Houston to Lunar”

Lunar (Face in the Moon): “Roger Houston”

Houston (NASA): “Any problems? We thought we heard a Yelp?”

Lunar (Face in the Moon): “Yelp? Problems? No no no no, no problems.”

Houston (NASA): “It sounded like a Yelp.”

Lunar (Face in the Moon): “No no no. Negative Houston. Lunar winds. Just go back to sleep.”

[In deep Space, No one can hear you scream. Even if it’s just the space between your two ears.]

The sombering moment was when I realized that I am succumbing to gravity, and my lofty images of still being young and virile has loudly, insidiously morphed into older and vile.

Damn! Nobody told me I’d age literally over night. Like between the nocturnal window of getting up to use the bathroom many times a night and when I take a selfie of my beard.

It’s so true, Photos never lie. And a photo is worth a million words in a fraction of a second “Click”.

In binary code, what iteration of OMG do I not understand!

It wasn’t just the beard I saw in the flash of light, but also lunar surface that I’ve never seen or never paid attention to.

Now I understand why women tend to themselves so well, the wiser of our species know and understand that sustainability takes years of smart care and gentle attention.

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Women tend to age gracefully if they can help it.

Men? Men, I think just wake up at 3:00 am and won’t believe what they see. They’ll close their eyes and pretend the bags, wrinkles and sags never happened.

And that leads me back to the selfie of a Man.

selfie

noun

INFORMAL

A photograph that one has taken of oneself, typically one taken with a smartphone or webcam and shared via social media.
“Occasional selfies are acceptable, but posting a new picture of yourself everyday isn’t necessary.”

I don’t share my selfies on social media because I don’t do social media much like I didn’t do selfies until 33 self-photos ago.

I had no real understanding to why people take “selfies”, particularly in such dramatic fashion like always from a precarious altitude with 1000% risk of falling as their faces turn from “HEY DUDE Look at me!,” into a horrific, grimace of “Oohhh no….look at meeeeeeee!” Kaplunk! Ma’ke.

In Hawaiian, Ma’ke means. Dead!

It is said that the whole purpose behind taking a selfie is to show your mood or expression while you are doing or asked to do something.

Maybe, but I think a selfie is much more. No matter what age a person is, whether a selfie is taken to capture a mood or an expression, I think a selfie or 33 shelfies is really about self-discovery in the moment.

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It’s not about vanity, but a little bit of self-consciousness blends quite well with self-discovery of oneself; which to me, it’s about facing a new reality of how I see myself, and how others might see me. And I think, it’s deeper than face value.

That selfie image has a deeper sense as we really look into it, we are really looking deep into our innerself and asking; Who am I?

As we travel in and out of every milestone of aging, the answer to that question begs for self-discovery, and self-reflection.

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