It’s All Good When We’re Sorry

It’s All Good When We’re Sorry

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The wholesome and neighborly geranium flower offers comfort.

Yes, it’s all good when we’re sorry. We should know better. As civilized and cultured human beings, expressions of being sorry should be common place amongst us.  But strangely, it isn’t.

We see it all around us. Actions requiring apology and being sorry. And when it touches us, it empowers us to cry. Sometimes outwardly. Sometimes quietly, deep inside. We cry in sorrow. We cry in happiness. We cry when sorrow touches our soul for someone else, but also for ourself as well.

Apologies and forgiveness are important because intractable conflicts generate such deep and searing emotions. Even after the fighting stops, people still feel the pain, hurt, anger, fear, and hatred that produced the conflict and its horrors in the first place.

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Being sorry isn’t about being weak. Being sorry is about having strength and strong-will toward righteousness, the very quality of being morally right or justifiable when there is injustice or wrongful doing. It is about having honor and being honorable, sometimes against all odds.

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However, in the roaring 1920’s and prior time in history, where men lived an image of toughness and supreme egotistic mentalities, “saying sorry to anyone” was considered a sign of weakness. It just wasn’t vogue. So yes, not saying sorry across the board, wasn’t a sign of intelligence either!

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Making satire, I guess there might have been exceptions. We could guess that a gangster of the Prohibition era might have been known to say, to his mortal enemy, “Sorry bud!’ As he let the roar of a .45 ACP Thompson Submacine gun unsympathetically do all the talking, up in smoke.

The Thompson submachine gun is an American submachine gun, invented by John T. Thompson in 1918, that became infamous during the Prohibition era, becoming a signature weapon of various police syndicates in the United States. It was a common sight in the media of the time, being used by both law enforcement officers and criminals.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thompson_submachine_gun

Fast forward 100-years to the year 2018, if we have what it takes to acknowledge dignity, humility, honor, self-respect for ourselves and respect for others, and every conceivable amount of DNA to feel sorrow and pain, we can truly give yourself credit in having the capacity in being, Sorry.

Sometimes, it’s not my fault, but I will say I am sorry to help heal the process, in hope that the other person needs more time than I to realize what needs to be done to make it right. And even if we can’t make things right. I want to try.

The power of saying sorry.

Social psychologists know that an apology leads to forgiveness, can recover a spoiled relationship, and may heal indignity. Saying “sorry” denotes that you have chosen your relationship over your your ego.

When was the last time you sincerely felt apologetic?

But what is being apologetic?  What is it being sorry?

a·pol·o·get·ic
əˌpäləˈjedik/
adjective
  1. regretfully acknowledging or excusing an offense or failure.
    “she was very apologetic about the whole incident”
    synonyms: regretfulsorrycontriteremorsefulruefulpenitentrepentant;

…feeling regret, compunction, sympathy, pity, etc.: to be sorry to leave one’s friends; to be sorry for a remark; to be sorry for someone in trouble. regrettable or deplorable; unfortunate; tragic: a sorry situation; to come to a sorry end.

Saying I am sorry, and being sorry, should really displace every word and action of the opposite of being sorry.  Ever step on a little child’s foot? Ever step on your pet dogs paw by accident? Ever accidently bump into someone which caused them to spill a beverage, or knock a hot dog from their mouth?

Ever say something awful to anyone and realize it was inappropriate on all counts? Ever do something utterly stupid, inhumane, vindictive, ugly, to your spouse, parent, grand-parent, sibling, friend, co-worker, or a stranger.

Ever do or say something you normally wouldn’t but let it slip because you’re exhausted from work, personal drama, events and situations just so overwhelming it got the better of your usual self? And ego and pride prevented some kind of act of asking for forgiveness, courtesy, reconciliation?

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Yes, it happens. Yes, we are guilty. Yes, we are stupid. Yes, life isn’t fair but that should not prevent us from changing and making amends. Yes, we can’t always be the “winner” and yes, many times in just wanting to resolve the unforgiving situation, we take the hit. We absorb it even it’s not our fault because we want so much to make something good come out of something bad and unpleasant.

But why should we? Because for every sincere event whereby “I’m sorry” emerged, you witnessed something. Usually. Usually something good comes out of it. And even if it didn’t. You tried. Your DNA knows. Your soul knows. You try to mend, and realize you can give so much more to everyone else who believes as you do: It’s All Good When We’re Sorry!

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I give you credit in doing all you can in finding resolve in any situation whereby you find yourself saying or wanting to say: Gosh, I’m sorry.

I give you credit in being vigil to any situation that arises and your ability to see it, to sense it, to see consequences of being pro-active, of taking action, and even, maybe because you are unable to, not taking any action.

But in the aftermath, be it in discussion with others, be it in having a conscious voice of dissent against injustice, you hold yourself to higher standards that in someway is reflected in you and who you are, in setting an incredible example of good or higher standard of social responsibity!

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